Top 117 Hilarious Office Quotes- Best Office Quotes

Funny Office Quotes100+ Best Office Quotes.

If you’re searching for The Office quotes then you are at the right place in today’s article you will find Hilarious Office Quotes

we’re counting down 117 Hilarious Dwight Schrute Quotes From “The Office.” Played by the Amazing Rainn Wilson, Dwight is loud, sarcastic, dry, and surprisingly very witty. Simply without his antics and catchy quotes, the show wouldn’t be the same without him.


So here the of my favorite office quotes I hope that you will definitely enjoy these office quotes- Also have a look at Believe In Yourself Quotes

1. Everything he does is sexy,  he das this undeniable animal magnetism, He’s jungle cat, the man exudes s*x.

2. I have moonwalked past accounting like 10 times.

3. Blink once if you want me to pull the plug.

4. Where is the criteria?

5. The only problem is whenever I try to make a taco, I get too excited and I crush it.

6. I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend, but that is like trying to be friends with an evil snail.

7. Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?

8. Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.

9. Andy Bernard does not lose content, he wins them or he quits them.

10.Dwight, I would like your undivided attention.

11. I lobe the smell of bacon on a woman.

12. And I misspelled in front of the entire school the word failure.

14. That’s cool hey, you know what’s even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed.

13. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life

15. I will raise 100 children with 100 of your lovers. If it means I can be with you.

16. Do I have a date for valentine’s day? Yes, February 14.

17. Friends joke with one another. Hey, you’re poor. Hey, your mommy’s dead. That’s what Friends do.

18. the First name is blank and he goes on a cruise. he goes on a Caribbean cruise._ KAITE HOLMES 

no, but he’s married to her!- ohDawson’s are!  no, no it has to be a real person hm, come on, I’m gonna pass.- Um, okay rhymes with paranoid sahporzeneeger.  Okay, he is the governor of California,  he is the terminator-Tom Cruise

19. Ryan is being a little bitch again Michael, I’m on: What’s up my brother?

20. Mo’ money, money problems.

The Office Best Quotes- Best Office Quotes

21. Every word out of your mouth is like the squawk of an ugly pelican.

22. It’s a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour-long shower with guys.

23. Okay, well come on! let’s have an auction! let’s do this! we’ll auction off people like in the olden days

24. Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice? strike three.

25. How I try to act with girls, how I actually act with girls.

26. No question about it. I’m ready to get hurt again.

27. What are your weaknesses? I don’t have any, asshole.

28. How can you ever be sure? it has my face on it. make the face. yeah, I don’t see it. Dude, that’s my face.

29. Oh that piece doesn’t go there.

30. Just Poppin you know how I will be

31. Is there no way we can get rid of him? not without cause, Michael. I have cause it is Because I hate him.

32. Pizza, soda, the moon, someone to share it with.

33. You’re ugly and I know it for a fact cause I got the evidence right there.

34. I just wanna lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.

35. A look into the face of rabies.

36. I wanna be wined and dined and sixty-nine.

37. Saw inception. or at least I dream I did.

38. Oh, the anti- christ.

39. What are all those stains? Blood, urine, or semen. God, I hope it’s urine.

40. Hey, nobody cares.

Top 100 funny office quotes

Michael scott quotes- Office Quotes

41. I need a username, and I have a great one. “Little kid lover” That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at

42. Sometimes I wonder if I have ovaries in my scrotum, because I am great at girl talk.

43. Occasionally, I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.

44. when me president, then see. They see.

45. Oh, my resolution was to get more attention.

46. I’m gonna set your face on fire.

47. I’ll date when I’m dead.

48. I hope the war goes on forever And Ryan gets drafted.

49. Photographer: Smile. No.

50. Michael, Angela’s cat died- sprinklers? oh, sh…

51. Only thing that could make this day better is ice cream.

52. there ain’t no party like a Scranton party, cause a Scranton party Don’t stop.

53. Men find me desirable.

54. Well, Jan jas this schoolgirl fantasy. I feel uncomfortable wearing this dress.

55. Walk away, bitch.

56. No one is a bigger fan of sexual touching than me.

57. I’m crowning. I’m going crowning.

58. I hate looking at your face. I wanna smash it.

59. Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high-pitched note.

60. When you’re a kid you assume your parents are soul mates. My kids are gonna be right about that.

61. Luke, this is your father. Such a dork.

62. You look cute today, Dwight. Thanks girl.

63. Toby works in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he’s really not a part of our family.

Also, he’s divorced, so he’s really not a part of his family.

64. You couldn’t handle my undivided attention. 

65. Well, you are boner.

66. Don’t forget us when you’re famous.

67. Toby: Michael, I have an extra twin bed if you need one? 

Michael: You will be sleeping alone for the rest of your life, so you should just get used to it.

68. Andy left a carton of milk in the fridge.

69. And don’t forget the new black man phrase I taught you. Pippety poppet, give me the coppery.

70. No! No! I need two men on this! That’s what she said no time! but she did. no time! guys.

71. I don’t want to do anything, I’m dying.

72. The Taliban’s the worst. Great heroin, through.

73. Sometimes the clothes at gap kids are just too flashy.

74. And I misspelled in front of the entire school the word failure.

75. Disposable cameras are fun although it does seem wasteful and you don’t ever get to see your pictures.

76. I am beautiful.

77. Would I rather be feared or loved? easy. both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

78. You cannot say “I was raped” And expect all your problems to go away Kelly. Not again don’t keep doing that.

79. You ran a woman over this morning. Everyone inside the car was fine, Stanley.

80. World’s best boss.

Dwight schrute the office quotes

81. Honestly, I love stealing things.

82. You’ll be safe with me. I’m a very good screamer.

83. Bears. beets. Battlestar Galactica. Identity theft is not a joke jim! millions of families suffer every year.

84. Do you like it as much as you like men’s butts?

85. Listening to Lady gaga. it’s Brittney bit#h. and I’m back.

86. Welcome to the hotel hell. check in time is now. check out time is never.

87.I would Nissan it for the world. But if something else came up I would definitely not go.

88. Oh God, my mind is going a mile an hour.  That fast.

89. When Pam gets Michael’s old chair, I get Pam’s old chair. then I’ll have 2 chairs. ONLY ONE TO GO.

90. Take a man’s job, but leave him his balls.

91. 364 days until the next pretzel day.

92. I Already won the lottery. I was born in the U-S of a baby.

93. Who says exactly what they’re thinking? what kind of game is that?

94. oh, my god! okay, it’s happening!- everybody stays claim. say f***** calm! everybody just f***** calms down!

95. Shut up about the sun

95. A little cover-up on your adam’s apple will make it appear smaller.

96. Well, just tell him to call me as asap as possible.

97. Do you think that I’m retarded?

98. Mini cupcakes? as in the mini version of regular cupcakes, which is already a mini version of the cake

99. You don’t know me: you’ve just seen mu p*nis

100. I am running away from my responsibilities. and it feels good.

100% of the best Office quotes

101. Are you okay? I am better than you have ever will be.

102. Is it because I’m white?

103. Why are you the way that you are?

104. It’s just so emotional.

106. In any cheating movie, The person getting cheated on is the hero. You’re all later, I’m Beyonce.- I am Beyonce, Always

107. It’s a nice little farm. Sometimes teenagers use it for s*x.

108. Oh, man. You should order milk.

109. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.

110. Does it bother me that I wasn’t invited to Michael’s dinner party?

111. Oh, I see. so, sounds like you’re too sick to come to work. But you’re well enough to go to the pharmacy.

112. Hey, why haven’t we ever… uh? we have.

114. These are nerds. I’m eating Jims.

115. I could get a fish for a five-cent worm. You’re paying way too much for worms, man. Who’s your worm guy?

116. Everyone has called me Dwayne all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them too. Yes, 5 bucks each and it was totally worth it.


118. You’re hardly my first. That’s what she said.

119. Dwight, give me the bottle, or you’re fired. You can’t fire me, I don’t work in this van.

120. The difference between a salesman and a saleswoman is b**bs

121. God, Stanley. That freaking brilliant. How Do you know that? Did you learn it in the streets?

122. It’s Halloween that is really, really good timing.

Inspirational quotes from the Office


So this is the list of my favorite funny office quotes and I hope that youve also liked these Best office quotes.

Did we miss your favorite office quote or moment? Let us know in the comments below!

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